This year my eldest, Zai, started school. I really greeted this with dread, but I assumed that was normal for all mothers. I LOVE having my kids at home with me, so I was prepared to feel "teary" on his first day. What I wasn't prepared for was the ongoing feelings I have towards him going off to school. I hate school - that's right, me , the mum, not Zai, but I hate it. I hate having to take my baby up to the bus stop & put him on the bus everyday & have him whisked away for 7 hours, being influenced by others with very different standards to me. I hate the fact that his teacher holds different values to me -will she tell him to seek God in his decisions - no of course she won't - she's not allowed. I hate the fact that when I wanted to help him at home, his teacher said " well that won't help him work independently" - INDEPENDENTLY - he's only 5. ( I did show him & it only took me about 3 minutes to get him to understand where his difficulty was).Don't get me wrong I hold education in the HIGHEST regard- everyone who knows me knows I think even tertiary education is extreemly important. It is just school I have this problem with. So are these normal mother feelings? Do all mums come to the end of term 2 & ask if maybe 2 terms of school are sufficient? Do you ever get used to these feelings? Do you ever look forward to sending your darlings off to school? Do you keep thinking the holidays can't come soon enough? OK enough of my ramblings. I know that the school he goes to is one of the best state schools I've ever heard of , but I don't think it would matter where he was going, I just hate sending my darling off into the wide world - all I can do is wrap him in prayer & trust God to do the rest!!
P.S. The go kart is up & going & is requested daily for riding too & from the bus stop!!
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7 comments:
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You take beautiful pictures, I really enjoyed looking at the amazing Australian sky and your lovely children.
I was sad too, when my oldest first started school, not so much at being away from her, although that was part of it, but at my schedule now being dictated by a Principal. "Be here at 9:00, No school on Friday, Teacher meeting Thursday night," and on and on.
Now we homeschool and I don't have to worry about any of that. Self-discipline, however, is another matter! :)
My oldest starts school this August and I am dreading it. We live close enough that I think I am going to at least drive her there in the mornings. It sounds way too hard to put her on a school bus and watch her drive off.
She is looking forward to it, but I am dreading it for all the reasons you just listed. I think that being a mother is VERY hard!
Megs :)
Arggh...your post feels like a wrench in my heart. I think your feelings are so normal! My oldest started kindergarten this year. I couldn't do it - send him to school, I mean. Two years ago, I thought homeschooling was weird and for the eccentric only. I mean, how will they be well-socialized? God put it on my heart and after some deep research, I knew keeping them at home was the only way for us.
Mmmmm.... I used to always enjoy school holidays (No I was never one of those mums who counted down the days til school started again!) I think sending the first one off is the hardest - especially when the teacher differs from what we'd really like. This can happen in any sort of school - I had massive problems with sending my kiddies to some teachers (esp. Sel - her yr 3, 5 & 6 teachers were truly awful and I questioned whether her yr 3 teacher was the believer she claimed to be). Keep the communication open with both the teacher and Zai. Ensure you know what he is doing at school, and talk to him about those things that differ from what you believe. You probably have to pray a bit harder and talk a bit more to him so you do know what he's learning.
However, Narn, 2 terms is definitely not enough! Keep trusting!!! It's all part of the growing up process. Once children start school, it means a part of their lives that we're not fully part of - but don't let go too much yet!!!!!!! Be very thankful that you haven't had to send the darlings to child care centres and continue to enjoy them and thank God for them. Ask the Lord to help you through this rough time (for you). Remember, He loves Zai more than you do!!!!
Lots of love Mumxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Renata, we're going through these very same fears and concerns right now. Bee will head off to kindergarten in the fall, and I'm really struggling with it. I'll miss her so much, and I just don't know if I'm ready for her to go to public school, where her primary influence will no longer be us.
We've strongly considered homeschooling, or even sending her to a Christian school, but there isn't one nearby. I wish that I had answers for you, but I don't. People say that it will get easier with time, but I'm with you--I just don't feel that my 5-year-old baby is ready to be away from her Mom all day, everyday. But, maybe it's really me who isn't ready.
Lots of good advice and heartful thoughts there Renata. What Jenny says is very true. It's important to keep good communication lines open. Last year Rowan had 2 very sweet and gentle teachers and I helped in the classroom which made me feel more at ease with letting him go. And I was able to help him in his schooling better too. This year we have a teacher who has a different personality and the classroom set up meant it was harder for me to help in the classroom. But even though I wouldn't have picked that personality type for my beloved boy, she has really helped him in his learning and this term I am able to help in the classroom and I can appreciate her style more and have more opportunity to address any issues. And Rowan thinks she's pretty cool. So look after that darling boy and trust in God that He put him in that class for a reason and He will take good care of Zai. Lots of love to you, Sandra
Hey Renata have you prayed about homeschooling? We are just finishing up our 11th year at it, I highly recommend it. I am so glad that God called us to it.
I am here if you want to ask me any questions.
Kimmie
mama to 6
one homemade and 5 adopted
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