Sunday, September 21, 2008

"Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord"
Ephesians 5:22 (NIV version)

Submission is often treated as a dirty word in modern society. I was an offender of this - I told the pastor there was "no way" I was going to promise to submit OR obey Dave when we got married. I was an independent modern woman who could think & chose for herself. Ah - what a foolish, childish thing to say (I was only just 20 & had finished uni 3 weeks earlier!)

I've since learned that submission is the essence of our walk with God. That my submitting to Dave is a model of how I should submit to God & the best model of submission is how Jesus submitted to the Fathers will. We submit to please Jesus. It was only as I matured in my walk with God that I turned from hating the word, to actually doing it (I'm not going to say I actually love submitting - I have too much of an opinion for that!) .

One of the most difficult times I've had to deal with this was when Dave wanted to move down here - you see I was completely happy back up in Qld. I had lots of family support (we lived 10 doors away from my parents), had been living in that area for years, so lots of friends - you know how whenever you go to the shops you see someone you know - that was my life! I had Zai into the lovely christian school where I had attended. We had close friends who we could call on at anytime day or night. Yet Dave was asking me to consider moving away from all that - to a place where I know no one, where the only school was a state school & where we were 2 days drive from family. No way - Not fun! Well I think God had to do a lot of work in my heart to get me to really consider it properly. We drew out making the decision. I didn't want to go & told Dave that. I was happy with my life just fine. But Dave really wanted to come & he prayed a lot about it & felt it was where God wanted us. It sure was H A R D. I had to let go of one of my dreams & trust God to build a new one. So is country life all it's cut out to be.... well that's another post - but let's just say I'm happy here! I'm glad I chose to submit to Dave's will - & even though I sometimes still struggle with the decision, I also know that I've drawn much closer to God - at times he's been the only one I've had to rely on. At the ladies conference I heard "God's more concerned with HOW I live than WHERE I live!" - guess that helped a lot!


Mummy McTavish said...

Someone I was talking with about this once said a part of submitting to your husband is trusting that he wants what is best for you. Just like submitting to God :) It's hard growing up being told by the media that "you are a woman who can rise to the same heights as any man" then when you get married God says "this man is your husband and you will submit to him". We are not told we cant voice our opinions (tactfully) and share our concerns with their ideas (thankfully, because that would really be more of a challange than I feel ready for) but that we must come under them as God's appointed head of the family.
What a great post!!!! Thanks Renata

Heather said...

Excellent post! I agree, it's sometimes very hard to submit - I still struggle with it at times, because, like you, I am a person of strong opinions, and sometimes I just don't agree with my husband's ideas or choices. It gets easier as I grow more mature as a Christian, but I believe that it will probably always be a daily struggle for me.

I'm glad that you're happy in the country now! I must admit that I envy your country life, because it seems so idyllic to me, but I'm sure that it's also really hard work!

You look gorgeous in your wedding dress! Absolutely beautiful!

Frizzy and Bird said...

I hear where you are coming from. I too shuddered at the thought of submitting to my hubby. However, I like you am starting to understand the purpose though at times it is still hard. I have move my whole life so staying in one spot seems strange to me. In my vows I pledged, "Where you go I will go." I didn't realize where and how that promise would actually take and test me. I like you see God's purpose and plan. Thank you for sharing such an intimate post.

Kimmie said...

What a beautiful young bride...who obviously has grown in wisdom and devotion to her God...and to her sweet husband.

mama to 6
one homemade and 5 adopted

Mum-me said...

Yes I can imagine how hard it must have been to submit on this topic. Thanks for your insight on the biblical way of submitting to your husband.

Saminda said...

What a great post, Renata. Such a hot topic, isn't it?! I'm still growing in this area too. I tend to be the leader in our family more than is best for us- more out of old habits than anything. And I guess I'm naturally the "spiritual leader" of our kids, but don't want to be....... so I keep praying Stu will embrace this role as the years pass by. I will keep doing all I can to encourage that, by showing him the respect he deserves and encouraging him to lead. And praying too!

What a hard one for you, that big move away from friends and family support. With 4 little ones that must have been SO hard. But the respect you have shown your husband by supporting his choice for your family is awesome. How great to trust him in this way! I'll pray you keep adjusting to life out there. I bet it's a huge workload, as well as being just so beautiful and peaceful. Like everywhere, pros and cons I guess. Love the last line of your post. :)

BoufMom9 said...

Fantastic post! So correct and you have such a way with words and clarity :)
I was the same- a "modern" woman who refused to "obey", but now I see with the same clarity you speak of and how it's a necessity of life, love & spirituality.

Christine said...

Good post. I too didn't like the word submit. We had it taken out of our vows.

Dreadnought said...

That must have been a really hard thing to do and no doubt there are times when its still hard on you. As for submitting, it doesn't mean that you're weak or stupid, just the opposite in fact, it takes a big man/woman to turn the other cheek. Bob.

Grandma said...

I think husbands actually have the mor difficult role...if you keep reading that passage, they are told to love their wives as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for I don't think we need to 'remind' them of this, but to certainly pray that they can do so. I do think there is always a lot more attention given to the 'Wives submitting' part of the passage than the 'husbands loving' part....but each of us is responsible to God for our own actions...anyway enough sermon..! Lots of love xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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