Last week the little one crawled into my lap. Anticipating the comfort of my Mother arms. Already learning it is a safe place, a place to be trusted. This little one, as they crawled into my arms, they stole a little of my mother heart. While I may never get to hold that little one again, I'm sure my life will never be the same - that piece of heart is long gone.
Life has never been this busy. Hectic, crazy, tiring busyness. Yet such wonderful busyness!
The emotions run heavy under a very thin veneer of calmness ( praise God for that calmness). It seems they are ready to flow in a moment, yet they stay hidden until those peaceful evening hours when the air hangs dark & cool in the night sky & every little one is tucked in tight. Only then can you give into what is breaking your heart during the day.
Often I wonder why life holds so much sadness, so much pain. Not my own pain, but that of the innocent, the very ones who should not know such pain, who did nothing to deserve this inheritance they hold. How can my Mummy heart bear to see the sadness in their eyes. The uncertainty that I cannot change. The look that asks for assurances that I can't give.
And deep within the walls of this old farmhouse: relationships are changing, relationships are building, relationships are being watched over, cultivated, grown. Those selfish tendencies that have crept in unaware are being pruned. And that pruning, well it hurts. No one likes pruning, least of all the plant undergoing it. Children - well they fight against the painful changes. They love stability & the assurance that their life will not be changed. Yet it is that very change that produces the character in life. And that character fruit, it will be worth every bit of heartache.
The patience growing, the care flourishing, and even love just beginning to blossom. We are seeing the tiniest of fruit even now through these difficult days of change.
Prayers prayed & prayed & prayed. Questions asked. And life continues on in this household filled with blessings, filled with noise, filled with energy!
This Easter means so much more than ever before. We sit tightly holding onto the grace that was given so freely.
Our Saviour, Jesus; He knew pain. He knew more pain than any of these little ones who have crept into our hearts. Jesus knew what it was like to be denied, to be ridiculed, to be treated wrongly by the very people who should have been loving & caring towards Him. In fact they should have been bowing down to Him. Instead nails were driven through His hands, a crown of briers punctured his head & His feet, that only brought peace, were hung as if guilty. He was put to death in the most brutal way.
Innocent, yet treated wrongly.
Faultless, yet criminally treated.
Perfect, He now bears blemishes.
It is so unfair.
Yet, it is so wonderful because if He didn't go through it, every single one of us would have to.
Today I am so thankful that isn't the end of the story, because a sad & brutal story it would be.
I cannot imagine the beauty in the garden that Sunday Morning as it sparkled with dew. The most wonderful news brought by angels: "He is Risen!" Those women who went to the tomb - the excitement is palpable even now through the pages we read just this morning. What a wonderful day it was! Our freedom purchased with blood. Our lives, now able to be spared.
This Easter, may you know that no matter what pain or joy that is lingering in your heart, that Jesus loves you. That He died for you. That He rose again for you and that He alone truly & totally understands!