Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Since moving here I've found one of my constant battles is with homesickness. It goes through waves of days where I find I can barely function for missing home & normality & everything I left behind & days when I love it here & hope to retire here. This is always exacerbated by the departure of visitors. So you can guess how I am today since our friends left yesterday.

When this continued after the first couple of months of moving I thought there was something wrong with me - It was even implied to me by someone that I respect that I should be totally happy here & what is wrong with me - can't I see that I'm lucky to be living out in the country? So I believed this person & thought I had a problem - until I heard a focus on the family - in it they were talking to a woman who has researched how moving effects women & she has written a book on it. It's amazing, but as she was talking she could have been describing my last 10 months - the ups & downs & feelings were exactly as she said. And guess what?? I'm NORMAL! So if I don't answer the phone or want to talk to people for a few days - instead of beating myself up about it, I now know that this will pass (& it gets easier everytime) & I'll make that phone call tomorrow or the next day.
So if you've just moved & you're riding the waves of homesickness - than please don't feel that there's something wrong with you - it's normal!


Kate said...


Frizzy said...

I am sorry you're homesick now. It's hard and boy have I been there many many times. Moved so many times away from friends and family I've lost count. My heart goes out to you. You're in my prayers. Question, am I confused or did you have issues with IF? I ask because of the boys. If I am right let me know if you would like me to add your IF story to my post for today.

Bobbie-Jo said...

It's awful to be homesick! So many things that we think are "wrong" with us are really just normal emotional reactions to transitions in our lives. But Jesus knows - be sure to keep your time with Him.

I think your honesty about this will help somebody, somewhere, who feels the same.

Peta said...

Hi Renata. Of course you can add me to your blog roll, your on mine. Im very new at this blog thing (not exactly computer savvy) so it will take me awhile to get it looking how I want it.
I moved to Wollongong 9yrs ago from a small contry town called Mudgee. It took me 2yrs to get over the homesickness. At one point I had even decided to pack up and move back to Mudgee but I thought I should give it another 6mths to make sure it was what I wanted to really do. Of course I realised I LOVE Wollongong. So hang in there. Bermaguie is on the Far South Coast (about 5hrs further down the coast from Wollongong)

Anonymous said...

Hi Renata,
I'm Lion and Dragon McTavish's Grandma and 25 years ago I moved more than 1000 km away from family and friends and I can tell you it does take time to adjust. Some things will never be quite the same. I often remind myself that this is not my home anyway. My home is in heaven. Then it doesn't really matter where I am geographically speaking.
I'm always very suspicious of well-meaning Christians who won't give others permission to be sad or disappointed or anxious. It isn't a sin to feel sad or homesick. To bottle it up and pretend you're happy when your not isn't very healthy either. Talking with friends and family, having a good cry occasionally and lots of laughs hugs with the kids is the best therapy.

Mum-me said...

Yes you are lucky to be living out in the country, but that doesn't mean you can't miss your family and friends who you've left behind at your old home!

I did a bible study called "After the boxes are unpacked". I didn't actually do it until a couple years after I moved, but it still helped a lot. If you'd like to read it let me know and I will post it to you. (You can email me from my profile page, or simply 'reply' to this comment when it comes up in your inbox.)

God bless ...

Mummy McTavish said...

Praying for you. Ups and downs are normal, we all have them! I was thinking about you on Sunday as we drove through the cane country and seeing some little crops just starting. I thought I must ask you what was your husbands background that he wanted to persue the farming life and what brought about the move so far south, as in, what made you choose there against some other farming area? If today isnt the day to answer this, that's fine:)
I just wanted to let you know your excitement over crops is infections, I was getting excited about the baby crops of some farmer I have never met because I know a little of how he probably feels through your blog.

Terri said...

Glad to hear that you are normal!! lol

Sorry you are feeling homesick...of course it is normal. Doesn't matter how wonderful your new home is. (((HUGS)))

Duckygirl said...

Our family is contemplating a move across the US and I've wondered if this is how I'll feel. Sorry for the hardship but good to know you're normal :)


(and cider is cloudier than apple juice and way better in my opinion!)

Heather said...

Poor Nata! I often wonder how you do it. I can't imagine moving away from all my friends and family, and plus you're much more isolated in the country in general, which makes your feelings of loneliness worse.

For what it's worth, I think you're doing an amazing job, learning the ropes of farming, and caring for your family in a new place. Of course it's normal to feel sad and homesick sometimes, anyone would!

For what it's worth, even though you're separated from friends and family, you always have your blog friends! We love you!

Tan said...

Hey there, Have been thinking of you as the beanies left you guys and have wondered how you were feeling. I was going to call on monday but thought you might need some time. Love you guys heaps and definately agree with what you said about homesickness. It just takes time but there will always be those harder times. Big hugs your way. Tan xxxx

SF said...

I've been thinking of you since reading your post yesterday. It's absolutely normal to feel homesick! I do and my family are only 3 hours away! You are amazing- to juggle family life plus farming and animals.... I can't imagine how you do it. Well done to you, and hugs from afar!!

debi9kids said...

Of course it's normal.
You have every right to miss your home.
I am so sorry you are feeling sad.
I really think it's fantastic what you are doing for you family by moving out to the country. there is so much to learn & grow from, but it's not an easy life.
Definitely allow yourself to feel sad about it when you need to & vent away.

Kylie said...

Renata, thinking about you. Hope the waves are getting smaller.
Love Kylie

Anonymous said...

Hope you're starting to feel a bit better now....we should never be afraid to express our feelings and emotions - remember God made us that way. Some time - when you have nothing to do, (lol heaps) - read through the book of psalms. Note the emotions expressed by the psalmist (and they're ALL there), and make a list of the types and group them. You can then refer to the list and find ones that match your feellings. That way, you'll have something that expresses how you feel. We all love you and miss you heaps and heapsxxxxxxxxxxxx

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