Thinking aloud..

Saturday, January 29, 2011

As I sit here & reflect, there are so many things that pour to mind, a blog post cannot even hold a tenth of what I want to write.... I'll fish through the myriad of thoughts & try & put into some resemblance of order what I'm thinking, what I'm trying to communicate through this wonderful medium of words, for words are such a gift from the Lord - the composition of words into sentences, into paragraphs, into stories - they make you laugh, they make you cry, they draw you closer & they hold a key in relationships, in friendships, in love, in families, in our most important love - that of the Lord.  

Then he comes & sits by me - a little boy not quite 5 in the worlds eyes - of little worth to most, yet to my life he holds such a wealth of meaning - he holds the keys to part of my heart & I know the blessing that he is. I remember 5 years ago, how I  held him within me - he almost went home to the Lord &  I struggled & finally surrendered him with the knowledge that he was a gift, that he may be here for only a short time, that I may never hold him. Forever grateful to the Lord,  he was  healed & I feel so blessed that for the last 5 years I have been able to love upon him, to hold him, to kiss him - even when he doesn't want them, to cuddle him - as he squirms to get down, to teach him & discipline him & be his Mummy.  

But it all could have been so different "Medical abortion" it would have been termed.  Killed to save his brothers life.  Cord tied to that another might live...

But I knew - had known even as a child how wrong abortion is.  How the killing of these innocent babies doesn't  help anyone.  It just brings torment into lives that are already suffering.  As the doctors described the options, I knew that wasn't an option - you see I had been taught as a young child about the sanctity of life, as a teenager I spoke loudly & strongly about this very topic - never expecting to face it as an adult - never expecting it to be spread out as an option - take one child's life to save another, kill my own child, lose a child to gain his brother...

As I sit here, he comes & I hear his strong voice calling "Mum" I look into those hazel brown eyes  -twinkling eyes I know so well  - eyes I look upon often -"Mum, can I please have a colouring picture?" & I put my life on hold to get it for him - knowing that these days of youth are fleeting, but trying to hang onto every minute, every second.  Knowing that each breath is a gift from the Lord.  "A kiss", I ransom it - because a Mummy must get a kiss any way she knows.  He puckers those little pink lips & obliges me my request, then off he skips happily ready to sit with siblings & cousin & colour - just one of the kids, just one of the family.....

... Yet I remember, & ponder it in my heart.
...What if we had chosen.... what would life have been like....what scares my heart would hold...

....so much we would have missed...







Thank you God for healing, thank you for this precious life....
...My beautiful child, my wonderful son...
...My Eli...

Just pondering today,

13 comments:

aunty sel said...

Such a precious gift to us all. He is gorgous - so is his twin (are you sure all those photo's are of him?)
Mum and cor have gone to bookfest today..
I have to go to work,
luv to you all,
sel

mammajoy said...

How awesome and wonderful and all-knowing is our God! Your's is a beautiful story, and you have a beautiful son.

Christine said...

Beautiful post. Choosing life is always a beautiful.

Smilie girl said...

He is definitely a precious precious boy.
His story has made quite a big impact not only on your family, but at work too.
The story of the boys always makes us stop and give thanks for the wonderful outcome and remember how easily it could have been otherwise.

Damaris @Kitchen Corners said...

Being grateful for our children sometimes comes so easily and sometimes not so much. Your Eli seems like he's a wonderful son.

Jenn said...

This was SO beautiful and heart touching...it brought tears to my eyes. Eli is a precious gift from God and his momma is too!

Have a great day, friend! ♥

Pioneer Beauty said...

HELLO HELLO HELLO Renata,
I think of you often and wonder how your family is doing or whenever I hear Australia I think about you and another blogger I know who lives there...

I do hope and pray all is going well...

The story you just shared is an amzing testimony of the Hand of a Loving and Faithful God...of Whom we serve...and how everything in this world of which we live goes and is Contrary to His Living and Breathing Word..

I have been very busy and have been finding it hard to keep up with blogging..but when I do get the chance I enjoy visiting with friends like you...

Have a blessed day Renata...
In Christ
Angelina

Pioneer Beauty said...

HELLO HELLO HELLO Renata,
I think of you often and wonder how your family is doing or whenever I hear Australia I think about you and another blogger I know who lives there...

I do hope and pray all is going well...

The story you just shared is an amzing testimony of the Hand of a Loving and Faithful God...of Whom we serve...and how everything in this world of which we live goes and is Contrary to His Living and Breathing Word..

I have been very busy and have been finding it hard to keep up with blogging..but when I do get the chance I enjoy visiting with friends like you...

Have a blessed day Renata...
In Christ
Angelina

A Big Bowl Of Cherries said...

Thank you for sharing this wonderful piece of the testimony God has given you. It blessed me tonight.
God bless you and your beautiful family,
Jen

Leanne said...

*Sigh*

This post brought up so many mixed emotions.....

Life is to be cherished, always. At every stage. In every circumstance.

Life is to be protected and fiercely defended.

How blessed you are, and how wonderful that you know it. Twins are a special, unique gift, and thank God that He allowed a miracle to happen for you! It makes me happy!

*Sigh*

Have a fabulous day! <3

Kath said...

What a tear jerker post!!! Such a sweet child you were blessed with....and ever so abundantly too with with his sweet siblings!!

Homeschool on the Croft said...

Wow! That was powerful. Yes, how good God is. And how we must cherish every moment with each one of the blessings He has given us.

Darlene said...

Hello Renata! Once again I am trying to see if I can post on your blog. Would like to offer you a Blessed Day : )
Darlene

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